Tongan Take-aways : Tongan Wedding

December 19, 2012

I got to go to a Tongan wedding yesterday (by accident really). I was invited to learn how to play basketball (Tongan basketball, which is just netball with more players) with some girls- at first at 5 in the morning, then as they saw my face and it was changed to 6. I woke up and went to the field and no one was there, so I told myself there is no excuse for me not to exercise since I am already awake. On the walk back to my place to get ready for the run Suliassi’s grandma told me that I was going to a feast later with them- score! Getting up early really has its benefits.

We got into town and to the house where they were preparing the food. The amount of food being cooked was mind blowing- 12 pigs were being roasted, a cow was being chopped up, lu, sausage, crab, fish, and of course a ton of root crop! Sean was also invited so we bummed around until it started. First the couple goes to the court and signs the papers before which they get paraded around in a car with a tappa matt covering it and a line of cars behind them (basically the major players in Wesleyan church in my village) honking. After the court they go to church. The couple is accompanied by their aunt- on the bride’s side, and the uncle- on the groom’s side, and they are dressed in a tappa covering. Apparently they are the lowest rank to the person getting married. What’s interesting is that the couple is not allowed to be coupley in public and they are even separated in the cars they are driven around in, most of the pictures that were taken were of them individually.

While I was waiting for the hall to be set up, loud music was playing and I danced with so many old ladies from my village but what was even more awkward is Tongans are so obsessed with finding me a girlfriend that my principal and others would literally bring me up to girls and ask if I like them, like right there in front of them. I spent 20 minutes with my principal as she pointed out 3 sisters and asked me which one I liked, then said look and decide and she will tell them. So during the dancing portion I was brought to several women. After the wedding my principal brought one of the sisters up to me and then told her to give me her number! I totally don’t understand, it is perhaps the most awkward thing that has ever happened to me, and it happens a lot here, your older elementary school principal should never be your wingman, and never in such an aggressive way!

After what felt like forever we were finally allowed to start eating! It was awesome and I am so glad that no one will ever see me at a feast- it’s like I revert some kind of primal species, I literally attack the food- no fork or knife is used- and I eat until I almost can’t move. Of course this was a Tongan feast so you have to take leftovers and people kept telling me to bring a bag, which I laughed about but Suli’s grandma had her purse full of bags and she told me to grab one of the weaved baskets in the corner of the hall and we put a whole leftover pig in it! I felt kind of weird about it but I guess it is some unwritten rule that it is okay, except I had to carry the basket for the old women and so now everyone thinks I am that white guy who shows up to feast and steals whole pigs... A lot of people didn’t even stay until the end, they ate grabbed their food and dashed. Here the family spend so much money on the huge wedding feast and people steal all the leftovers and don’t even stay to the end…