Mormon Dances Redux

August 23, 2013

Mormon dances are the place to be in Tonga, I know I have already hinted at just how awesome these “hulahula” are but I thought I would emphasis the fact here.

One Friday trying to suto (hitchhike) into town I was picked up by a couple from a different village (which normally doesn’t happen) this couple invited me to their church and thinking it wasn’t really going to pan out I accepted their offer. I should have known that they would be more adamant about it being Mormon and all but unfortunately, I was not prepared and I found myself having to sit through the 3-hour church service that Sunday. Afterward the sisters (female Mormon missionaries) tried to give me their lessons. It was sad for them that they were not aware of just how difficult I was going to make that process for them and after about an hour of trying to talk about the faith with me they gave up.

Apparently I struck a cord with this family however, because the following week they invited me to their hulahula- this is what the Mormon dances are called in Tongan. Seeing as Friday nights are just so jammed pack here on the island I accepted. Luckily for me, I was in town and had access to a few beers (let’s keep this between us). Needless to say the dance was off the hook. These dances are the most gloriously awkward creation known to man and I cannot help but revel in the uncomfortableness of the event. Because I am white and am not “a member” I have a little bit more freedom at these functions then most. I danced my heart out with several different women of all different ages. At the insistence of my host I went up to various girls sitting around the edge of the dance floor and offered them my hand. See at these dances everyone sits around the dance floor, adults and teens, the men have to walk about to the girls to dance, but here in Tonga that is too hard for the boys so they walk about to a girl and stand about 10 feet away and nod at them. After the nod the girl gets up and they stand about 5 feet away from each other and sway a bit (did I mention how awkward it can get?). I don’t mean to brag but I was the life of the party. I pretty much started the dance floor while simultaneously trying to play wingman for the couple’s son. I kept trying him to dance with a girl that wasn’t his cousin-, which in Tonga is not only hard because of the strange dynamic between sexes but also because everyone is related. After a lot of dancing underneath the lights of the concrete tennis court and a lot of sweating the dance started to wind down. The Tongan programs started- lip singing (glorious), Celion Dion covers (no comment necessary) and of course tau’olungas.

I was having such a blast that I didn’t think things could get better until they brought out cookies! Pure joy. It truly was a great night and what really topped it off was my image of the reaction of everyone if they saw how we used to dance at the parties at my frat house….